"How To" Guides for Talking to Kids
Articles
We can’t effectively if our kids don’t respect us. How to show it and require it.
MARCIA SEGELSTEIN
A Mercator magazine interview with a Catholic mother who used to be a CBS television producer. She offers a battle plan for raising kids in a
culture often at odds with the values we want to teach. Helpful links to resources.
How to make yours go well — and mistakes to avoid.
Family meetings ( or “chats”) can help reduce conflicts, teach problem-solving skills, and give everyone a voice.
Kids are more likely to listen to us—about sex or anything else—if they feel listened to.
Values—sexual and otherwise—are transmitted in large part through face-to-face conversation. Screens can greatly diminish this crucial conversation.
To increase meaningful family conversation, try these 20 conversation starters. Check out the Family Dinner Project for other prompts.
7 ways to build character and faith.
by Linda Noble
This blog post offers parents and mentors some practical solutions to the unintentional and problematic popular Christian teaching surrounding marriage, sex, sexual purity and single celibacy.
20 tested ways to create a schoolwide culture of kindness and respect. In this approach, “respect” is defined as respectful behavior toward every person, not “correct attitudes,” because a truly inclusive respect for diversity includes respect for diverse moral and religious conscience.
Kids don’t arrive with an instruction manual, but these 10 basic principles can help.
Kindness is a teachable virtue. Five ways to create a family culture of kindness and respect.
Eight ways to use misbehavior as an opportunity to build good character.
A half-century of childrearing research finds that “authoritative parenting”—a balanced combination of love, authority, and reasoning—predicts the best outcomes.
Help them make amends now and a better choice in the future.
Books
Our vision is to see all caring adults equipped with the conversation, discipleship, and culture translation skills needed to reach the next generation for Christ. We invite you to learn more about the resources Axis offers to equip you for conversations with your teens. Build your teen’s lifelong faith in Jesus by tackling tough topics together, one conversation at a time.
by Linda Noble & Linda Stewart
This book provides parents and mentors with short chapters unpacking themes from Theology of the Body as well as applications that completely transform the way faith-based talks usually address these topics, if they have addressed them at all. Each chapter is followed by a related scripture, discussion for younger and older children, activities, and a prayer.
https://www.bebroken.org/family
This is the Family Resources page, your next best step to preparing your child to navigate sexuality from a Christian, biblical worldview.
https://store.focusonthefamily.com/a-chickens-guide-to-talking-turkey-with-your-kids-about-sex/
Parents Often Imagine Their Kids to be Nonsexual Until Their Wedding Night The truth of the matter is that we’re sexual from day one. What are you going to communicate to your kids about this, knowing that they are sexual creatures today? Your kids need you to talk with them about sex. No one else will do. They’ve been discovering their sexuality since the day they were born, but they need you to help them deal with the changes and challenges of puberty. Those conversations that are so vital for your children’s health and happiness don’t have to be difficult if you’re prepared. A Chicken’s Guide to Talking Turkey with Your Kids about Sex helps you build a strong, trust-filled relationship with your son or daughter to prepare you for the intimate talks you need to have when “the changes” hit. And because every child grows in a unique way, this book tells you what to teach but lets you determine when. Inside this book are the tools you need to help your kids not only understand their growing bodies, but also cope with the temptations and social pressures that go with them. Practical, expert, and down-to-earth, A Chicken’s Guide is a powerful resource not only for moms and dads, but also for pastors, counselors, and anyone with a heart for kids.
by John and Lucas Fort
Are you a dad who knows you need to talk with your son about sexual integrity but you don’t know what to say? Worried it will strain your relationship with him? Concerned he might find out something about your past and lose respect for you?
These are questions that compelled John and his son Lucas to write the first edition of this book in 2015. Since then Lucas and John have improved this guide so that conversations about sex between a father and son create an even deeper bond between them. The result is this completely revised and updated resource; now an even more powerful tool for fathers and sons. This book consists of eight, short lessons that the two of you read together. Each lesson is followed by a clearly outlined conversation guide to take the guess work out of how to keep your communication positive and on track.
By a father and son, for fathers and sons to read together.
- Facing the Facts: The Truth about Sex and You
- https://store.focusonthefamily.com/facing-the-facts-the-truth-about-sex-and-you/
- Puberty is an exciting but often stressful time of transition to adulthood. It marks the beginning of significant changes in a child’s relationships with their parents and with the opposite sex. Facing the Facts will give your child clear and comprehensive information to help them understand what’s happening to their body and why God designed it that way.
- God Made All of Me
- https://store.focusonthefamily.com/god-made-all-of-me/
- It’s easy to convey the message to children that their bodies – or particular parts of their bodies – are shameful. This misconception fuels confusion, embarrassment, and secrecy, and often prevents children from recognizing or reporting sexual abuse. God Made All of Me is a simply-told, beautifully-illustrated story to help families talk about these sensitive issues with two- to eight-year-old children. The book equips parents to talk with both boys and girls about their bodies and to help them understand the difference between the appropriate and inappropriate touch of others. God Made All of Me allows families to build a first line of defense against sexual abuse in the safety of their own homes.
- The Focus on the Family Guide to Talking with Your Kids About Sex
- https://store.focusonthefamily.com/the-focus-on-the-family-guide-to-talking-with-your-kids-about-sex/
Sexual images saturate today’s culture–and children will learn about sex somewhere. But research shows that they want to learn from the parents they trust. Talking about sex doesn’t have to be a fear-filled challenge. The Focus on the Family(R) Guide to Talking with Your Kids about Sex shows parents how to talk with confidence to their kids about sex and sexuality. This candid resource is full of the latest information, practical insights, and age-appropriate answers to the questions parents and children ask about sex. Focus on the Family’s Physicians Resource Council, along with research from The Medical Institute for Sexual Health provides parents with the tools and empowering encouragement they need in order to communicate more effectively and biblically about sex, self-control, and self-respect at every stage of a child’s development.
https://www.focusonthefamily.com/topic/parenting/parenting-qa/quick-parenting-answers/
As they describe on their website, Focus on the Family is a global Christian ministry dedicated to helping families thrive. The group provides help and resources for couples to build healthy marriages that reflect God’s design, and for parents to raise their children according to morals and values grounded in biblical principles.
Focus on the Family is here to come alongside families with relevance and grace at each stage of their journey. The group supports families as they seek to teach their children about God and His beautiful design for the family, protect themselves from the harmful influences of culture and equip themselves to make a greater difference in the lives of those around them. No matter who you are, what you’re going through or what challenges your family may be facing, Focus on the Family is here to help. With practical resources – like their 1-800 Family Help line, counseling and websites – this organization is committed to providing trustworthy, biblical guidance and support.
The God’s Design for Sex series helps parents establish a biblical view of sexuality in the home. The parent’s guide, and four age-appropriate books, enable families to develop a healthy dialogue about sexuality. They provide children the foundation of truth and knowledge they need for when they are inevitably bombarded with confusing and potentially harmful messages about sex.
About the Authors
Each book communicates clear information and illustrations, delivered in a biblically holistic way.
Based on years of work with therapists and pastors across the country, Honest Talk integrates a Biblical view of God’s design for sex with the latest information on what really helps children ages five to eighteen strive for sexual wholeness. More than just information, the book demonstrates a relational model that helps reduce parents’ anxiety and helps children move toward a resilient and healthy sexuality. Stressing the development of emotional awareness, Honest Talk shows how to initiate conversations about sexuality at different ages of childhood and the teenage years.
https://www.thomaslickona.com/
Thomas Lickona (2018)
“Using cutting-edge advances in moral development, brain research, and traditional wisdom, Lickona shares strategies for promoting kindness. Chock-full of tips for creating a home that cultivates empathy . . . essential advice for all parents and teachers interested in character development.”—Library Journal. Includes chapter on how to help our kids avoid the dangers of a hypersexualized culture and find true love.
Why Boys and Girls are Different: For Boys Ages 3-5
by Carol Greene
This book, the first in the newly revised Learning About Sex series for boys, will guide you in the often difficult task of introducing and explaining human sexuality. Through simple, age-appropriate text and pictures, boys ages 3 to 5 discover that the similarities and differences between boys and girls are created by God for specific reasons.
Where Do Babies Come From?: For Boys Ages 6-8
by Concordia Publishing House
This book, the second in the newly revised Learning About Sex series for boys, will guide you in the often difficult task of introducing and explaining human sexuality. Through simple, age-appropriate text and pictures, boys ages 6 to 8 will better understand how a baby develops and discover that each person is special and important!
How You Are Changing: For Boys 9-11
by Jane Graver
An honest, Christian approach to the body, relationships, and sex. The changes that preteens experience can be very stressful. How You are Changing is the third book in the Learning About Sex series for boys. The book explains to 9- to 11-year-olds that these changes are normal and are a part of God’s perfect, unfolding plan for their growth and development. God knows His children and is with them every step of the way!
Sex & the New You: For Boys Ages 12-14
by Concordia Publishing House
This book, the fourth in the newly revised Learning About Sex series for boys, helps young men ages 12 to 14 build confidence as they continue to mature not only physically, but also emotionally, socially, and spiritually. Sex & the New You will answer young men s questions in a simple and accurate way, reminding them that they can trust in God’s perfect plans for their lives.
Love, Sex & God: For Young Men Ages 14 and Up
by Bill Ameiss
This book, the fifth in the newly revised Learning About Sex series for boys, will help young men ages 14 and up learn to respect their sexuality and honor God. Love, Sex & God addresses issues such as pornography, dating, and premarital sex, answering young men s questions in a simple and accurate way and always reminding them of God s never-ending love.
Where Do Babies Come From?: For Girls Ages 6-8
by Concordia Publishing House
This book, the second in the newly revised Learning About Sex series for girls, will guide you in the often difficult task of introducing and explaining human sexuality. Through simple, age-appropriate text and pictures, girls ages 6 to 8 will better understand how a new baby develops and discover that each person is special and important!
How You Are Changing: For Girls 9-11
by Jane Graver
The changes that preteens experience can be very stressful. How You are Changing is the third book in the Learning About Sex series for girls. The book explains to 9- to 11-year-olds that these changes are normal and are a part of God’s perfect, unfolding plan for their growth and development. God knows His children and is with them every step of the way!
Sex & the New You: For Girls Ages 12-14
by Concordia Publishing House
This book, the fourth in the newly revised Learning About Sex series for girls, helps young women ages 12 to 14 build confidence as they continue to mature not only physically but also emotionally, socially, and spiritually. Sex & the New You will answer young women s questions in a simple and accurate way, reminding them that they can trust in God’s perfect plans for their lives.
Love, Sex & God: For Young Women Ages 14 and Up
by Bill Ameiss
This book, the fifth in the newly revised Learning about Sex series for girls, will help young women ages 14 and up learn to respect their sexuality and honor God. Love, Sex & God addresses issues such as pornography, dating, and premarital sex, answering young women s questions in a simple and accurate way and always reminding them of God’s never-ending love.
MI Team, Dr. Fitch, Dr. Meg Meeker, Melissa Cox and others
Sexual images saturate today’s culture. Because children are being introduced to these images even before they can read, parents need a resource to help them talk to their kids about sex. Unlike any other book on the market, Questions Kids Ask about Sex offers a biblical and comprehensive approach to sexuality. Melissa R. Cox, cocreator of the best-selling Focus on the Family Complete Book of Baby and Child Care, has collaborated with The Medical Institute for Sexual Health to deliver age-appropriate, thoughtful responses to the most flabbergasting questions kids ask about sexual identity, issues, and practices. Tested by educators, physicians, and parents across the country, this resource also offers helpful sidebars, straightforward advice, and empowering affirmation. This is the ideal guide to developing the open, respectful, and effective conversation kids need-and want.
Curriculum
https://www.bebroken.org/family
This is the Family Resources page, your next best step to preparing your child to navigate sexuality from a Christian, biblical worldview.
https://www.purelifeacademy.org/pages/curriculum
This is an all new and completely unique curriculum designed for homeschool use on the topics of Emotional Development and God’s Design for Sexuality.
The curriculum contains separate learning tracks for ages:
- 5-7
- 8-10
- 11-12
- 13-18
The curriculum is designed around the six Critical Conversations that prepare children for healthy and God-honoring sexuality.
Websites
Home
Dr. Meg Meeker:
Today’s youth is experiencing unprecedented pressures that make them feel alone, anxious, fearful, and disoriented. Unfortunately, many fathers feel unsure on how to connect with their children. What if you knew how to equip your child for today’s world and help them become a resilient, strong adult? After 30 years in my medical practice and extensive research, I see one common thread in children of all ages: the direct correlation between a father’s presence and a child’s wellbeing. That’s why I’m on a mission to transform child-father relationships.
As a long-time father-inclusive advocate, I know what it takes to create a strong bond with your child. And I’m here to help you. You’re invited to join thousands of dads who are leveling up their skills to win at the parenting game. I promise to champion you every step of the way.
Podcasts
https://axis.org/
Our vision is to see all caring adults equipped with the conversation, discipleship, and culture translation skills needed to reach the next generation for Christ. We invite you to learn more about the resources Axis offers to equip you for conversations with your teens. Build your teen’s lifelong faith in Jesus by tackling tough topics together, one conversation at a time.
global leading authority in child-father relationships. She has over 30 years of experience as a pediatrician; is the author of the bestselling book and now movie, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters; host of the popular parenting podcast, Parenting Great Kids; TEDTalk and international speaker; and father-inclusive advocate. As an expert in the field, Dr. Meg equips dads (and those who love them) with tools and training based on extensive practical experience and research.
https://theconversationworkshop.com/shop
THE Conversation Workshop’s podcast for parents and mentors that journey’s through Theology of the Body with the goal of applying key concepts in our ongoing conversations with the children we care for about the body, relationships and sex. Whether you’ve participated in our one-day workshop and want to keep learning, or you haven’t attended but would like to know and learn what is covered, this podcast allows you to do just that from whichever platform you use to stream content.
Webinars
https://axis.org/
Our vision is to see all caring adults equipped with the conversation, discipleship, and culture translation skills needed to reach the next generation for Christ. We invite you to learn more about the resources Axis offers to equip you for conversations with your teens. Build your teen’s lifelong faith in Jesus by tackling tough topics together, one conversation at a time.
https://www.bebroken.org/family
This is the Family Resources page, your next best step to preparing your child to navigate sexuality from a Christian, biblical worldview.
A simple online course that gives parents the tools and confidence to talk to their young kids about sex.
The Birds & Bees founder, Mary Flo Ridley, has been passionately sharing this message all over the world for 30 years. Mary Flo and her husband Dave have been married for 40 years, they have three married children, and eight grandchildren. After growing up in El Paso, Mary Flo graduated from SMU. She loves playing with her grandchildren, baking, and traveling!
Megan Michelson joined Mary Flo at Birds & Bees almost 6 years ago to help bring this message to a new generation of parents. Megan was born and raised in Dallas, Texas and graduated from Baylor University. Before diving in to the world of sex education, Megan was a middle school teacher. She and her husband Blake have been married for 12 years and have three young kids. She’s in the trenches of motherhood… so happy and so tired!
The six Critical Conversations for families are:
- Feelings & Emotions. Developing skills of emotional literacy, awareness, and resilience are necessary for sexual integrity. This is the first and most important skill for children to develop and continue to grow in.
- God’s Design for Sex. Having open, judgment-free conversations about how God created us and His purposes for our sexuality is critical to sexual integrity.
- Preparation for Exposure. All children will be exposed to sexualized content and ideas eventually, so they should be prepared to know what to do when this happens, and feel safe coming to parents to talk about it.
- Temptation. Temptation is real, even Jesus was tempted, so we should not ignore it. Skills for resisting temptation are built upon year by year.
- Processing Exposure. Safe family guidelines help families talk through and process exposures to sexual media and situations. Children often need prompts to help them open up about things they have experienced but are afraid to talk about.
- Leveraging Your Story. Your story, as a parent, is the leverage to help your child open up about their story. Guidance will help you do this appropriately.
If you have not participated in a Critical Conversations session at a homeschool convention or via webinar, or if you want a refresher, Be Broken offers free, live webinars monthly. You can register for an upcoming free, webinar here:
https://www.purelifeacademy.org/pages/family
We can no longer pretend that we don’t need each other to effectively resist the hyper-sexual culture we live in. Pure Life Academy is here to equip families with conversations and strategies to walk together toward sexual wholeness. We are better when we work together. These do not have to be scary conversations! Pure Life Academy’s courses help remove anxiety between family members as we come together to talk about God’s very good design for sex.